Not all men are bastards, some of them are dead

Now, I don't want to be one of those whining women who complains about how all men are bastards whilst scoffing on a two kilogram bar of Cadbury's, crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry's and stroking one of my eighteen cats, but really, I'm beginning to think they might be. Very little evidence to the contrary. 


Take for example my lovely friend Francis. Francis, like most of us, is looking for that special someone. As a gay man, he tends to meet a lot of not so special someones. But then don't we all? 
So Francis is in his local gym. In the sauna. I know, cliche, but bear with me... There is a fella that Francis has seen around  the gym quite a bit, there has been lingering eye contact and what us lesser fools would call a spark. 
So, back to the 'ol sauna. Francis, notices said gentleman smile and move a little closer. There is conversation, laughter, mucho macho flirting and knee touching. 


Yum, right? 


Right. Until sauna boy casually mentions that he has a boyfriend. You can imagine the disappointment poor Francis felt. As would we all. When he leaves, Sauna Slut follows him to apologise with drivel like 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on, I should have said something earlier' 


Sorry don't cut it buster.Yes you should have said something earlier and no, you have no excuse for behaving like a total twat. 


Why would someone do that? 


Before we answer that, let us join Heather. 


Heather is a friend of mine who is beautiful. Not only did she fall out of the beautiful tree and hit every branch on the way down. She snapped the branches off and keeps them at home for putting on make up. So, Heather is out with a group of friends and some new acquaintances and there is one guy in particular who is quite a charmer. Someone that she might not have noticed initially, but this guy has the chat. He is the sort of fella who would make you laugh till your knickers fell off.


This charmer asks my friend for her number. He texts her as soon as she leaves saying how he had a great night and they should do it again sometime. Heather is obviously quite excited by this. She thinks, this could be a good thing. She does some investigation through friends, tell me about this fella, you know in the private investigator way we all do, 'Does he have a job?' 'Where is he from originally?' 'Has he been CRB checked?' Unfortunately, Heather didn't get the answer to any of those questions, as the first thing she was told was that this guy has a long term girlfriend.


Really?!


I know that this isn't an unheard of scenario, we all know tales of this happening. We could all sit around the fireplace and regale each other for hours with wine and cheese and our stories about little shits. As unfortunately these things happen all too often. But seriously, why? What does a guy get out of it? The thrill of the chase? It just doesn't make sense to me. Is it training for when he is single again? Because if his girlfriend has any sense at all she won't be with him a lot longer.


My only solution is this, if a guy asks me for my phone number I'm just going to punch him in the face. I think it's safer to just cut to the chase.