Think of me as a sort of relationship Gandhi. In heels.
1. This is quite possibly the most useful piece of information you will ever need. Ever. You don't even need to read on. Tips 2 to 5 might as well be a recipe for a tasty lasagna.
MEN ARE NOT PSYCHIC
I know! I was as surprised as you are! They have done tests and everything. Turns out - men are normal human beings. Have a seat, drink some tea and digest that massive bit of news before reading on...
If a man, for example, asks you where you want to go for dinner and you answer
'Wherever. I don't mind.'
But what you're actually thinking is 'I want you to take me to the Italian restaurant where we had our first date, but I want you to come up with the idea because that would mean you are incredibly romantic and the one for me', then you are setting yourself up for a whole heap of disappointment, a night of grumpy and probably an argument.
You have two choices -
1. TELL HIM THAT THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT
2. Be happy that you are having some lovely quality time with your fella and it ACTUALLY doesn't matter where you go.
You have to tell men, or women for that matter what it is you want. Or you will not get it.
After that little bombshell let's move on to number two.
2. Does he like me?
Brace yourself for another shocker...
I'm not psychic either.
I'm not trying to be mean, or say you're an idiot for asking this question. Of course it's frustrating when you're in the prestages and you have no idea what that person is thinking or feeling. Remember (as in point number 1) they have no idea what you are thinking either.
We can sit here for days going through every tiny detail - 'but for exactly how many seconds did he look at you as you sat down at your desk? If it was 2 - he isn't interested, 4 - he wants to marry you and have your babies, 7 - he thinks there is a possibility that you are a cyborg and is checking your neck for seams'
But the only thing you can do is wait. As boring as that sounds. Wait, be happy with your life as it is and these things will run their course. If you spend your time obsessing about one man you will only chase him away anyway. Enjoy these early exciting stages.
3. Can I trust him?
Yes. As simple as that may seem. Unless he does something to show you otherwise, the answer has to be yes. If you don't trust him it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you and how you have been treated in the past. Leave the past right where it belongs.
4. How do I find a boyfriend?
As cliche as it sounds, stop looking.
I know you've heard it a thousand times. But really. Do the things that make you happy, spend time with friends, indulge yourself. No man or woman will ever complete you. You complete you. And you will be far more attractive to someone if you are a happy fulfilled person than if they sense that you have some sort of reliance on them to make you happy.
If you find someone - great. If you don't, you'll be happy anyway. Win win.
5. How do I know if he's the one?
You don't. You can only know if he makes you happy. If he does, keep him. If he doesn't, get one that does.
For any questions that haven't been answered here (and feel free to keep sending them to me), try ice-cream. In my experience, ice-cream solves pretty much every problem. For the worst problems I recommend Ben and Jerry's Phish food.
