A date? I can't I'm afraid. Because I hate you.

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Groovers and Shakers, Twisters and Makers, Surprisingly Flexible and Firm as a Planks... How are we on this fine day? Don't answer that... It's rhetorical. Idiot.

I am well (I am aware you didn't ask but I went ahead and answered anyway to make up for your rudeness).

I have however just tried to breath using mainly rice. I thought this would be an interesting experiment to try in my 28th year on this earth. The results of which were watery eyes, and a red face. If any of you wish to partake in a similar experiment to see if we get corresponding results, feel free.

Today's subject is a fairly serious one. But don't worry I will throw in a few knock knock jokes to shake things up a bit.

My topic is unrequited love.

This is a pretty painful subject. Regardless of which side of the fence you find yourself on. I for one, am pretty sure that unrequited may well be the only type of love I have experienced (boo hoo

sucks to me tiny violinist sob sob get over it). But I can in no way claim to be an expert in it or how to deal with it.

Recently I had to tell a gentleman that there was no future in us. He has always been a massive flirt, and delights in sending the odd (very odd) inappropriate text. Which is fine. They were quite amusing and I would be able to say 'Hoho! that's just Martin. Oh silly Martin!' Obviously not his real name.Martin is an Old man's name. But recently, after 5 years of this, he started revealing his true feelings and how he genuinely wanted to go out on a date. I am sorry to say that I am not attracted to this man at all. So the answer was no. Also, I feel partly responsible for this, because at no point during these 'ridiculous' (so I thought) texts, did I say- 'Honey, you're lovely and all but you just ain't my bowl of beans' (In case anyone was wondering that was said in my cowgirl voice). So I felt almost as though I had lead this guy to think that I may be interested. But I think that when it comes down to it, you can't be held responsible for other people's feelings. If we spent our entire time trying to second-guess how a person is feeling or holding back in case people get the wrong impression, then we would lead very stilted lives. 

Of course I would also say you can go a bit too far in the other direction by maybe sticking your hands down a man's trousers and thinking ' I'm sure he won't get the wrong impression, he knows we're just friends'

Having frequented the un side of unrequited love I realise too that sometimes you are asking to get hurt. I was involved with a gentleman who was a lovely man. We both agreed and knew from the outset what the relationship was. We were 'lovers' (In case you were wondering this was said in my sort of Mexican/french voice). It wasn't a relationship, we enjoyed each others company and would have fun but without having to answer to each other or anyone else. And yet, I went out of my way to find out about other people he was seeing. I can't explain why. I knew what this was and neither did I have any hope of it becoming anything more. But I had to be alpha female as it were (I know that doesn't work, you snobs). I needed to know that even though he had other women about, I had to the best. It's an odd situation to have found myself in really, jealousy starts like a tiny black dot on the brain and it spreads like branches, until it slowly encompasses you and you start doing things you can't explain, looking for more reasons to be suspicious. In the end it was only to hurt myself. I had no ground to stand on as we had agreed what the relationship was and therefore really, I was the one who was being untrustworthy by being very two faced about the whole thing. I think I am not made out to be a 'lover'.

Now, these are the two sides of unrequited. The yearning and the heartache are incomparable. But I witnessed the most wonderful of phenomenons recently. 

True love.

Having discussed unrequited love, it happens to us all at some point in our lives, in some cases much more than once, so it really makes you appreciate what a rare and incredible thing it is when a person truly loves a person and that person truly loves them back (not a title for a song I don't think)

I went to a wedding recently, I am friends with the bride, so I know all too well how much she loves and worships the man she married. I have spent a little time with the groom but not enough to have the old deep and meaningfuls. He is a lovely guy and I do approve.
It was wonderful though to attend the wedding and see the groom cry. As soon as the bride arrived, and pretty much right through the service. Even in his speech. He was so overwhelmed with happiness. He felt like the luckiest man on the planet and he got us guests to thinking that he probably was too!
 It made me think, if my husband, (whosever that may or may not turn out to be) feels that lucky to be with me on my wedding day, then I would be due for a long happy life.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smee.
Smee who?
Smee! Writing a blog!

Thanks for reading.