Ah yes. It's that time of year again. The time of year that fills with dread the hearts of every singleton, boyfriend and husband alike.
That day of the year when single folk are scared to leave the house for fear of being bombarded by hoards of couples in every restaurant, cinema and street corner. We are left to peer through the curtains like lepers frightened to catch a glimpse of the pitying looks in our untouchable direction by those who are deeply in love, parading the streets with their flowers and chocolates.
If that wasn't bad enough we are reminded of our singledom for a good solid month approaching V-day. Cards, roses, champagne everywhere. You can't set foot in boots to buy shampoo without being reminded that you will probably die alone by a stupid cartoon cat on a heart shaped card.
And yet, this is not my problem with Valentine's Day. It may not sound like it but I am happy for all of those people who have found each other in this otherwise quite bitter universe.
What I am annoyed about is the fact that it is our bloody day! It isn't intended for couples to get together and make kissy faces at each other, or for boyfriends to get in a sweaty panic as they have to pay £25 for a rose at a petrol station at 7pm on the 13th because they had forgotten all about it. Or even for the girlfriends, to lament that their boyfriend got them sodding chocolates, when they have been together for four years and he knows she's lactose intolerant.
No.
It is for us. It was designed so that we could have a day, above all days of the year, when we could breathe in, man up and say, do you know what? I quite fancy you.
On what other day of the year could you get a card telling you that you had an admirer, signed off with a question mark, and not have to take it to the police as evidence of stalking?
Couples have every other day of the year. They get to spend Christmas together, and birthdays, they get to have the New Year's Eve kiss.
In the Metro this week thay had a 14 page spread of things to buy your partner. And then a tiny three line article on how to 'survive valentine's' if you are single! You can't just rewrite whole days! You can't just say, right from now on Christmas days will be celebrated by going donkey racing and eating bicycle tyres and wearing underwear on our heads!
As single people we have to be subjected to PDA's every single day of the year. Well I say we should claim this day back as our own. I say V-day should be declared as a day when all couples have to stay indoors and you are not allowed on the streets unless you are single. And we can have some sort of massive single jubilee street party. With dancing and banners and punch and suchlike.
That's what I think.
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